Junk of the Day

I thought I’d take a look at the junk email flowing into my email box to see if I might find the true Elixir of Life. I don’t think I found it, but I did have fun checking out some of the more interesting SPAM that found its way past the Spam filter.

Try these alluring subject lines on for size and my thoughts about each offer:

“Cosmetic News: Mother Took Twenty Years Off Her Face (See her story)” – The wonders of plastic surgery for those few who can really afford it. Now she looks younger than her husband’s daughter from a previous marriage.

“Tested and Proven to Shred Empty Calories In Your Sleep. Try it.” – I think I’d rather “shed” calories than shred them.  I usually use the shredder to dispose of my ‘private’ papers and almost always do that when I am awake.

“8 Tips for Creating a Life With More Joy & Less Stress” – Find a place for your aging parent (other than the comfort of your own home).

“Study to Become a Nurse Online” – So, I can become an online nurse, or the course is offered online?

“Research Psychology Programs in Your Area” – Does this spammer know something about me that I don’t?

“Get up to $2,500.  It’s Magic.” – It’s simply miraculous how much interest the lender earns from your ‘magic’ loan.

“Start Melting Your Fat Away Naturally – 100% Satisfaction Guaranteed!” – Trick your brain into being thin.  Yep, that always works. Trick or Treat?

“Learn About Gout Symptoms & Tips To Treat Them” – Duh, stop over indulging in food and drink at least once a week!

“Vydox — Be The Man You Used to Be, Guaranteed” – No comment.

“See How Celebs Get Thicker, Fuller Hair – Risk-Free Trial.” – Yeah, just squirt this stuff in your hands, then rub it into your hair and tomorrow you are The Wolfman.

“Tempur-Pedic Qwners Love Their Beds.  You Can, Too.” – Don’t think I want to love “their“ beds, just my own.

“Open This Email to Get Chemistry” – Turns out online dating is free for one night only.

“The Healthy Smoker’s Choice: No Carbon Monoxide, Ash or Bad Smells” – Looks, feels and tastes like a real cigarette.  Well, maybe after my online dating session.

What a wonderful day, full of great offers.  Can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings. Isn’t digital life just grand?


Photo credit: freezelight (Flickr)

One Response

  1. Kay Martin says:

    Hah digital life is grand, through the eyes of Bob Goranson! Looking forward to day 2.

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